It’s in the simple things… (Part 1)

Years and years and years ago… okay, I’m not that old- at least to myself anyway, lol. Anyway, years ago, when I was around sixteen, a friend of mine and I took the Greyhound to Canada. We had made the trip before with our church, as we always visited an affiliated church in Canada for fellowship. This trip, we decided to stay for a week with our church friends in Canada, instead of just the weekend that our church would normally do.

This was my first trip away from my family and, technically, by myself. Times Square, New York, was daunting and huge, and I was completely out of my element, but my friend was used to public transportation, and had been to Times Square many times. We met at the bus stop, departed for Canada, and spent the week as planned. For the return home, my mother was picking me up from the bus station, and I asked my friend if she wanted a ride home, and she said yes. It was understood that I didn’t know how to get back upstairs to the street for pickup and would need her help. When we arrived, I called my mother from a nearby pay phone, and she said she was on her way. My friend, having heard that, said, “How long is that going to take? I’m not waiting all that time- I want to get home. I’m leaving.” I’m paraphrasing, but that was pretty much the gist of it, and she proceeded to turn around and zip through the crowds, leaving me standing there, afraid, alone, shocked, and lost. In my little sheltered mind, I was lost, y’all.

I implore everyone to pay attention to the simple things in their lives, the little inconsequential happenings that, when you view the entire sum of the matter, are actually great big things.

One, I couldn’t believe she had done that; two, I felt so hurt by it, and three, I was lost, y’all! Like dang, she could have at least shown me the way to get upstairs to the street for my pickup. I eventually did make it upstairs, and I got to my mother safely, but when I got home, I called my friend, and I told her how wrong I thought she was for doing that to me. I expressed that that was foul, and I would have never done that to her. She listened, but she never apologized, and although I still remained friends with her, I never forgot that moment. A few years later, when something else happened, and I accumulated all of our relationship, I was able to freely cut ties with this person because I knew my worth as a friend and what I deserved in return. There were many simple little things that this person did to me or didn’t do that seemed inconsequential or appeared unimportant, but it was those little simple things that were great indicators of a snake that was slowly stifling me, wrapping itself so intricately around me that I didn’t even realize I wasn’t breathing.

I implore everyone to pay attention to the simple things in their lives, the little inconsequential happenings that, when you view the entire sum of the matter, are actually great big things. I don’t know if it’s a relationship, a job, or even your own personality trait, but pay attention to the little things in your life that either bring you life or make you feel depleted. I can’t tell you what to do with your personal situation, I can only tell you my rule of thumb for myself… I refuse to hold onto anything that depletes, dims, and stifles the light that I am. Truth be told, I didn’t even know my worth the way I do now when I let that “friend” go, but I knew this: all the little things she had done to me over the years, she never once apologized, and she never once celebrated me, the way I celebrated her. The significant, important things are always found in the simple things.

RJMquintosh.